The Heart of Faith Journey

*Disclaimer:

Please know that I understand some individuals have experienced sexual or physical abuse in the church, and this post is not aimed at those individuals. I mean no offense to anyone and want to be sensitive to the serious nature of such experiences. My intention is to share a perspective about healing from mental and spiritual hurt within the church community. 

The Reality of Church Hurt

I know many people who have stepped away from the church due to feeling hurt. I’ve had my own moments when I almost walked away—more times than I can count. The truth is that no church is perfect, no pastor is flawless, and no congregation is without its issues. We are all human.

I have been in many churches where I felt judged, lusted after, attacked, talked about or left out. But now that I know where I stand with God, I can smile genuinely and extend love even to those who may have wronged me. I go home knowing I did what I was supposed to do and allow God to handle the rest, trusting Him to convict those who need it. While the church can hurt us, I can assure you that the world outside of the church can bring far more pain.

Finding Healing Through Faith and Guidance

So, how do you heal from being hurt by the one place where you should feel the most loved? When you focus on Jesus Christ and His love for you, it becomes easier to overlook those who have caused you pain and to pray for them instead. If something feels off in a church, it’s important to pray to God before you even set foot inside. Ask Him, “Lord, if this isn’t the right church for me, please make it clear.” Pray for guidance and ask Jesus to lead you to a church that is filled with love and grounded in His Word. He will guide you.

However, be mindful: when someone wrongs you or when you feel disappointed, whether from harsh words or a lack of support, running away every time isn’t the answer. If you do, you may find yourself hopping from one church to another or avoiding church altogether. Remember, you can’t expect perfection from people. Many hold Christians to a high standard, and while it’s true that some fail to meet those expectations, that’s part of being human.

Separating God’s Love From Human Flaws

When faced with disappointment, it can be easy to project that hurt onto God, mistakenly believing that He is just as flawed as the humans who have let us down. However, God is not like us; He is perfect in love and grace. He desires to heal our wounds and restore our relationship with Him, regardless of our experiences within the church.

Unfortunately, I’ve witnessed many people leave and completely turn away from the church, and some have even distanced themselves from Christ due to the hurtful actions or words of others. It’s truly heartbreaking to see how these experiences can lead to a loss of faith or feelings of abandonment. Yet, it’s so important to remember that the actions of people do not define God or His unwavering love for us.

It took many years for me to realize that we shouldn’t allow the shortcomings of others to interfere with our relationship with God. The primary reason for attending church is to be spiritually nourished, not to let others dictate our connection with Him. We shouldn’t go to church to seek validation or support from people; We should go to deepen our understanding of His word and to honor God. If you feel like you’re not being fed spiritually, it might be time to find a different community.”

Moving Forward

If you find yourself in this situation, I encourage you to take a step back and separate the actions of man from the nature of God. Allow yourself to grieve the hurt, but also open your heart to healing and forgiveness. Seek out supportive communities, pray for guidance, and remember that Jesus is always waiting for you with open arms, ready to embrace you no matter what has happened.

Here are some steps to consider in your healing process:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

It’s okay to feel hurt or angry; recognizing these emotions is the first step to healing.

2. Seek Support:

Talk to friends or family who understand your pain; sharing your experiences can lighten your burden.

3. Engage in Prayer:

Spend time in prayer for clarity and healing, and reflect on the lessons learned from your experiences.

4. Nurture Your Relationship with God:

Prioritize your relationship with God, even outside of church.

5. Find a New Community:

If needed, seek out a different church or group where you feel loved and supported.

6. Practice Forgiveness:

Let go of grudges; pray for the strength to forgive for your own healing.

7. Embrace God’s Love:

Remember that Jesus loves you unconditionally and desires a close. relationship with you. Allow His love to fill the gaps left by hurtful experiences.

Romans 8:38-39

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

³⁹  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.